A wonderful mother

So...68 years ago today a beautiful baby girl was born to Etna and Norman J Stafford. They called her Etna Lou. She grew up with 3 other siblings...2 brothers and 1 sister. She was the 3rd child of the 4. She went to school in little bitty Franklinton, Louisiana and was crowned homecoming queen and graduated valedictorian. When she was 38 she was told she was pregnant with a baby they told her she would never have. That little girl grew up wanting to be just like her mommy and also graduated valedictorian. Etna Lou and her daughter had the closest relationship you could imagine. They talked 4-6 times a day when the girl moved away.

Almost 4 years ago, my mother, Etna Lou Stafford East, died of a heart attack. Today would have been her 68th birthday. We were so close that sometimes it still seems so surreal that she isn't here and I find myself talking to her over and over again. The littlest thing sets me off and I can't quit crying.

This week Abby turns 1 and all I can think about is how she would have loved her granddaughter so much and would have doted on her as much as she could...and Abby will never know that and personally experience her love. I get so jealous whenever I hear my friends talk about their moms and what they do together. It makes me miss her even more.

Tracy thinks it is so weird that I won't show my emotion around any of my family, but for some reason I just can't...even though discussing her anytime makes my heart ache and I want to burst out crying. I think about the 1000s and 1000s of calls I have missed and hearing her voice....hearing her call me sweetpea. Shoot I don't even know why I am blogging about this and may end up deleting it, but it feels so good to let this out.

I see other girls with their moms and grandmoms and wonder why it had to be my mom that was taken away....

She was so wonderful and sweet and had the most AMAZING cooking skills anyone ever had.

I miss you mom and Abby will know how great you are too. Please watch over her.